I begin to see it now I suddenly lost my sight and my personnel view to life.
Finding myself away even of my true self, away of the light, away of any intellectual pleasure, away of any mind feed, away of any enlightens, mainly away of reading.
I felt misguided, distracted, exhausted more than ever.
I miss myself, my life, my heart; I miss the true soul I use to have.
Driven into circles of life, without conscience, without purpose, without end.
Waiting for a change, a hope or may be another chance.
While the answer to all my problems was just within me all the time, I just had to see it and it took me some time.
For two years now all my relation to the reading world was half a book, a French story in the matter of fact and some newspapers from time to time and finally my daily googling fast reads, which is nothing, I use to finish a book every day…..
Getting away day after day from sources and pleasures of knowledge, tools of communicating the mind and the primary feed of the soul, falling into the trap of television and the imposed media instead of free knowledge, which affected all of my view to life.
Work and work with no time to relax even the spare time is full of obligations and duties to perform without hesitation, a stressful life with no time barriers to let you enjoy any hobby or sport even a good book is not allowed in all this mess, not even the time to think globally, a failing attempt to fit into a horrible system.
A system that gives you no time to breath, no time to see things from a distance, in a neutral view, to make you see the unspotted places, the real meanings behind actions. What stress and loops of work and commitments really do to you?
How they affect your life, your choices and your way of living without noticing?
Once I realized that and decided to make a time to read even if it will be every week, I began to feel relieved, I began slowly to maintain the course again, I began to focus on my true goals in life, I began to see myself within the big picture and not separated from it, I begin to read more each day, still not as much as I desire but am on my way.
At least with reading I could enjoy the meaning and purpose of this stressful life and the reality behind the system we should follow.